


got guns in my head (and they won’t go)

by bysine



Series: odd couple buddies [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: College, Comedy, Friendship, Gen, Mentions of PTSD, Social Media, Superhero Hijinks, not an au, odd couple buddy tragicomedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 12:30:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bysine/pseuds/bysine
Summary: By comparison, being roommates with James Buchanan Barnes, formerly the Winter Soldier, has been a vast improvement. Notwithstanding the part where people openly take pictures of Barnes (and consequently Peter) on campus. Or random people poking Peter in the back during lectures to hiss,are you really the Winter Soldier’s roommateat him. Or remnant HYDRA operatives kidnapping Peter in order to lure the Winter Soldier out (which, really, is too many levels of stupid for Peter to handle)."You know you're not supposed to call him the Winter Soldier any more, right?" Peter says, while they handcuff him to a pipe. Apipe. "Also this whole thing is kind of messing up my schedule. My two overdue papers won't exactly write themselves."





	got guns in my head (and they won’t go)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [На душе скребутся кошки (кто сумеет мне помочь)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14076957) by [Sulamen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sulamen/pseuds/Sulamen)



> Now with incredible fanart by [inberin](http://inberin.tumblr.com) on tumblr: [here](http://inberin.tumblr.com/post/174432203101/and-they-were-roommates-%E1%B5%92%CA%B0-%E1%B5%90%CA%B8-%E1%B5%8D%E1%B5%92%E1%B5%88-%E1%B5%97%CA%B0%E1%B5%89%CA%B8-%CA%B7%E1%B5%89%CA%B3%E1%B5%89).

**fyeahjbbarnes**

[Photo]

jbb looking mighty fine in that ESU hoodie 

#go tigers #return of the man bun

  **suchafullsea**  
  HE GOES TO ESU NOW?

    **marconi**  
    My friend who goes there says he's taking a couple of classes, I think she's in his comparative lit lecture.

      **buckybear**  
      hes actually almost smiling in this photo i cant even

      **mockingbird**  
      Bring back the senate hearing hair! That 1940s low pompadour gave me LIFE

        **suchafullsea**  
        who’s that kid walking w him tho?

          **fyeahjbbarnes**  
          Think that's his roommate

\---

The short months during which Harry Osborn was Peter's roommate had involved a lot of the following: (1) alcohol, which Harry seemed to possess in copious amounts; (2) having to deal with the aftereffects of Harry consuming said alcohol; (3) Harry spending time in front of the mirror alternately flexing or applying just the right of hair product to make his hair look swoopy; (4) Peter having to struggle into or out of his suit on freezing rooftops before returning to his room; and (5) Peter discovering, after having struggled out of his suit on a freezing rooftop, that Harry had put a sock on their doorknob and resigning himself to a night on the lumpy rec room couch.

By comparison, being roommates with James Buchanan Barnes, formerly the Winter Soldier, has been a vast improvement. Notwithstanding the part where people openly take pictures of Barnes (and consequently Peter) on campus. Or random people poking Peter in the back during lectures to hiss, _are you really the Winter Soldier’s roommate_ at him. Or remnant HYDRA operatives kidnapping Peter in order to lure the Winter Soldier out (which, really, is too many levels of stupid for Peter to handle).

"You know you're not supposed to call him the Winter Soldier any more, right?" Peter says, while they handcuff him to a pipe. A _pipe_. "Also this whole thing is kind of messing up my schedule. My two overdue papers won't exactly write themselves."

"Shut up," says the blonde HYDRA agent that looks weirdly like an evil Kristen Wiig.

"Have you thought about how you're going to let him know that you've kidnapped me? Because if you left him a post it note you should know that he doesn't always read them. I've left him tons about not drinking my semi-skim and he still does."

The other HYDRA agent is now attaching some sort of device to Peter’s phone in an attempt to break into it. 

"Hey Michael Fassbender, dude, you could just ask me for the passcode," Peter tells him. "Or try tweeting him? Can you tweet someone if their account is set to private?"

"Passcode," growls not-Michael Fassbender, thrusting Peter's phone at him like he expects Peter to type it in.

Peter rattles his handcuffs against the pipes. "A bit of a situation here?"

"Just say the damn passcode," not-Kristen Wiig snaps.

"Okay, okay," says Peter. "It's ‘Karen’."

Not-Fassbender snorts and types it in. "That your girlfriend?"

"It's complicated." It's not, actually. Pete has simply interfaced his Starkphone with his suit AI.

"It works," not-Fassbender says. He’s got a really sharky grin. "Now we can shut him up."

Not-Kristen Wiig hits Peter across the head and everything goes black.

As it turns out, Karen is a little overenthusiastic in calling for backup, because Peter is rescued by a combined task force of Barnes, Iron Man, and a disgruntled Sam Wilson. There’s also a SWAT team. All of which is just embarrassing, because Peter is _Spider-man_ , for crying out loud.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over this, kid," says Mr Stark - or rather, says Mr Stark’s Iron Man suit. "Not all of us can afford to give away our secret identities." As he speaks, orchestral music swells in the background.

"Is that Puccini?" asks Wilson. "Are you seriously piloting your suit in the middle of an opera?"

"That usher is shining his light down my row again, got to go -"

"Mr Stark has disconnected the call," says the suit, before making a graceful exit out the window. 

Wilson puts his face in his hands. "I had a _date_. A proper date. A nice lady wanted to have dinner with me."

"That's what you get for re-joining the Avengers, pal," says Barnes, as he watches the last SWAT van drive away with the two unconscious HYDRA agents within. He turns to Peter. "All right, Pete?"

Peter nods. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks, guys."

"Tell your AI she can call someone else next time," Wilson grumbles, but he also sticks out a hand to help Peter up. "Now are we getting dinner, or what?"

\---

 **bucky barnes:**  
At store now.  
Do u want the skim or semi skim.  
Do we still have eggs.

bit busy

 **bucky barnes** is typing...

SRRY, BANK ROVVVHFERY

 **bucky barnes:**  
K.  
Will get the skim n the eggs.  
Don't text while fighting crime.

\---

They don't really have a routine, but Peter tries to stick around on the second Tuesday of every month. That’s when Barnes goes for his BARF therapy with Dr Cho and comes back silent and withdrawn, like he's still testing the edges of the memories that the technology has helped to smoothen out. 

("Surely there was a better name than BARF," was what Peter had said when Captain America had given him the so-a-former-assassin-is-your-roommate-now phone call.

"You have to take that one up with Tony," Cap had replied.)

Peter has seen the TED Talk where Mr Stark had demonstrated how the BARF technology could pull up and alter memories from a user’s hippocampus. If the treatment on Barnes works, Cap has explained, it would scrub the Winter Soldier programming from Barnes’ mind, memory by memory. This had, in fact, been one of the conditions agreed upon during the negotiations for Barnes’ pardon.

Peter returns to the room to find Barnes huddled in bed. "Rough Tuesday?" 

"I’ve had worse." His voice is hoarse, like he's been shouting or throwing up, or both.

"Hey man, if you want some peace and quiet, I can head to the library -"

"Nah." Barnes sits up. "I've spent enough time alone in my own damn head today."

"Want to order takeout and watch something mindless?"

It’s a choice between the second Bourne film, Pacific Rim, and Transformers. Peter picks Transformers. Bourne might hit a little too close to home right now for Barnes despite his evident enjoyment of the first one, which he fondly refers to as "shaky-cam amateur hour". Also, the whole kaiju wormhole thing in Pacific Rim reminds Peter a bit too much of the space travel and all that stuff with Thanos. 

(As it is, Peter already spends enough time trying not to think about Mr Stark tipping through one of Stephen Strange's fracturing portals and reappearing outside the ship, _in space_ , the arc reactor light on his suit gone dim-)

They eat on the floor with their backs against the frame of Barnes’ lower bunk bed, and Peter’s laptop perched at eye level on a chair. 

"So this is about cars that turn into alien robots-"

"No, alien robots come to earth and turn into cars. And other vehicles."

"Sure." Barnes reaches across the floor and snags the last spring roll. Peter lets him.

"Doesn't the AllSpark kind of remind you of the Tesseract?"

"Shush, I'm trying to watch the picture."

"Okay, grandpa."

"That’s great-grandpa for you, pal."

And then later: "Wow, Megatron had it much worse than Stevie, no wonder he's mad."

\---

 **New York Daily News** @NYDailyNews  
Onlookers shocked by the Spider-man’s sudden fall: "I thought he was a goner"  nydn.us/4pGlsBu

 **The Daily Bugle** @dailybugle  
Masked Menace Causes Property Damage!  bug.le/6qJwNi

\---

He's leaping off the ledge of a building in pursuit of a man dressed in a lizard costume (seriously, what is up with people and costumes these days) and catching himself on the side of the next building, easy as breathing, except his fingertips don't hold their grip like they should and he's scrabbling, falling, yanking off a piece of pipe as he tries to grab on to it -

He panics, falls, then remembers his web shooters. He catches himself. 

It happens again a week later, except this time he deploys his web shooters just a second too late and leaves a Spider-man-shaped dent on an unsuspecting Prius. The video goes viral: the moment of impact, the terrifying few seconds in which he does nothing but lie there, shock eclipsing whatever damage his body has sustained. The pain comes later, when he hauls himself off the car and staggers away.

This shouldn't be happening.

"Kid, listen to me, you need to lie low for a while if this is going to become a thing," Mr Stark tells him over the phone.

 _You are GROUNDED_ , reads May's text, even though technically she can't ground him because he doesn't even live with her. But the sentiment is there. And he knows she's trying her best to keep it together because she could have said much more - had said much more, at the beginning. 

"Maybe it's the suit," Peter says, because he can’t really bring himself to think of the alternative. 

"Maybe it's the _suit_ ," Mr Stark repeats, and Peter can almost hear the eye roll. "All right, send it over, I'll take a look. Actually, why don't you swing by upstate sometime and have someone here take a look at you?"

"I've done the tests, I'm fine."

"Peter-"

"Mr Stark. I’m fine." 

"I know it's all parties and debauchery in freshman year - man, I feel old - but-"

"Don't do anything you'd do, et cetera?" 

Mr Stark laughs. "Little grey area, you know the drill." 

When Peter hangs up he finds that Barnes has slipped into the room without him noticing. He really should be used to this by now.

"Does it still hurt?" Barnes asks, stepping up onto the second rung of the bunk bed so he can take a proper look at Peter. 

Peter wriggles his back experimentally, feeling the dull ache of the bruises blooming all the way down his torso. "I think it’s healing up."

"Stay in today, I’ll get dinner," says Barnes. "You might want to call your Aunt May, she started leaving me messages when she couldn’t get through to you." 

"Okay. Thanks, buddy." 

"I’m guessing this never used to happen before our little space adventure?" 

Peter thinks about leaping into space after Mr Stark with nothing to anchor him but two intertwined strands of web, one end stuck to the surface of the ship’s entry hatch and the other end wrapped tight around his wrist and grasped in his fingers. About what _there is no sound in space_ actually feels like, each breath harsh and panicked through his respirator. 

"Yeah," he says. "This is new." 

Barnes looks at Peter for a moment, and then reaches over with his right arm to pat Peter once, awkwardly, on the head. 

\---

 **pparker** posted an instagram story  
[slow pan up a tower of Lit. Hum. 101 readings with caption: _party party party_ ]

 **ned_inthechair**  
seriously though are you okay? saw the vid

 **ned_inthechair**  
is it your web shooters?

 **pparker**  
I'm fine, just resting up!  
how's MIT treating you?

 **ned_inthechair**  
if it's the web shooters you should ask mr stark if he can fix them??

 **ned_inthechair**  
MIT's great, you should've come

\---

Mr Stark sends the suit back with a multitude of upgrades, including twenty-five new web shooter combinations that Peter maybe doesn't need.

"Mr Stark has also installed a new Cradle Protocol," Karen informs him brightly, as he swings through Third Avenue. "In the event of a fall, I will assist with deploying your web shooters if it appears that you are unable to."

"That's great, Karen, but I'm not about to test it out," Peter replies. 

"Yes, I'd not advise it."

The note accompanying the suit had read, "It's not a crime to take a break. - TS", although Peter’s heard enough to know that Mr Stark doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to telling people about taking breaks. He feels better now that he's out and focusing on patrolling and looking out for people. The pure physical exertion of it helps, too; it's miles better than sitting cramped up in the library with all his words and numbers, unable to stop his mind from wandering to things he'd rather not contemplate.

He’s helped an old man carry a chest of drawers up to his walk-up and stopped a snatch thief from getting away when Karen pulls up an alert about a burning building in Chelsea. He rescues the remaining three people and a cat from the building before the roof starts to cave in and he's hit by a falling beam, but he manages to crawl out from under it and he’s fine, he’s okay, he's high-fiving a fireman and making sure they don't need any further assistance before swinging off to intervene in a moderate-speed car chase.

When Peter returns to their room Barnes isn't back yet. He takes off the suit and goes straight to bed without washing the ash out of his hair. That night, he doesn't dream. 

\---

 ** **Subject:**** Your paper  
****From:**** otto.octavius@esu.edu  
****To:**** p.parker@esu.edu

Peter,

The paper you turned in last Tuesday showed clarity of thought and a good grasp of the concepts. I particularly commend you on your insightful analysis of the various confinement approaches for fusion reactions. 

Unfortunately, it was ten days late and notwithstanding your excellent work, I find myself constrained by college submission policies to give you a mark far lower than your paper deserves. I hope to see your future pieces submitted on time. 

If you are facing any issues that might prevent that, you can speak with me or with Student Services (whoever you're more comfortable with). 

Best wishes,  
Otto

 **Otto Octavius**  
Professor of Nuclear Physics | School of Physics  & Astronomy | Empire State University 

\---

He’s less surprised when he falls again four days later, his grip slipping on the railing of a fire escape before he's flailing, plummeting downwards - 

\- grasping onto the lines of web Karen has deployed from his web shooters and slamming into the wall instead.

"Nice catch," he breathes. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Karen replies.

"Karen, could you do me a favour and not tell Mr Stark?"

There is a pause in which perhaps Karen is checking all her protocols. "I'm afraid every emergency deployment of your web shooters sends an automatic alert to Mr Stark." 

"I guessed as much," says Peter, lowering himself to the ground. "Was worth a try though."

"You have three missed calls from your Aunt May, and several new messages." Karen pulls them up onto Peter's heads up display. _Don't forget we have dinner_ , the first one says. _Michelle’s just arrived, when can we expect you?_ Half an hour later: _Come by when you're done!_

"That’s… surprising." Peter has been expecting the usual escalating stream of anxiousness, considering he hasn't had the chance to reply to any of May’s messages.

"Shall I plot a direct route to Queens?"

"The fastest one, please."

He only has to hitch a ride on top of two trains and one news helicopter to get to May. Karen is a treasure. 

He lets himself in through the front door, after changing on a rooftop several blocks away (because there are several instagram and twitter accounts solely dedicated to Spider-man sightings now), and is greeted by the familiar smell of May’s burnt casserole and Vietnamese takeaway. This is routine by now, as is Michelle sitting on the couch working through a complicated mathematical origami pattern while watching trash TV. What's not routine is the fact that Barnes is also there, standing in the kitchen with a box of leftovers while May tries to rearrange the contents of the fridge tetris-style in order to make space for it.

"I don't think you'll be needing that refrigerator space after all, ma’am," says Barnes, while Peter takes the opportunity to gape at him a little bit. "Hey, Pete."

"There you are," calls Michelle from the couch. "We were about to start hate-watching Twilight without you."

"Who hates Twilight? It’s a perfectly good movie." May jettisons a rock-hard banana loaf from the fridge. "Also I insisted that James come join us for dinner after he was so nice about letting me know about that extra lecture you were at."

This explains the general lack of freaking out.

"He's been very busy." Barnes crosses the kitchen to hand Peter the box of bun cha and spring rolls while mouthing _you owe me one_ at Peter. 

_Why are you even here_ , Peter mouths back, but May swoops in with a pair of chopsticks.

"Have you lost weight?" May says, grabbing Peter’s shoulders like he's about to disappear. "Have you not been getting enough sleep?"

"I’ve been sleeping," Peter replies, while Barnes gives him an incredulous look. In the meantime, Michelle has picked up her sketchbook and is doodling what is undoubtedly Peter’s face in crisis. 

They do watch Twilight, which is as bewildering for Barnes as it is amusing for Michelle. Peter falls asleep while Bella is mouth-breathing at Edward having blocked a car with one hand (been there, still doing that) and wakes up the next morning in his own bed. 

When he checks his phone he finds a message from Barnes: _Headed back first. Have statistics first thing in the morning._ Michelle has sent Peter a picture of Peter slumped on May’s shoulder with his mouth wide open. 

He lies there for a while longer, listening to the sounds of May making breakfast and the morning radio. It is easy to pretend in those moments that he is fourteen again and his biggest problems are his all-consuming crush on Liz Toomes and whether he’ll get to play first clarinet in marching band.

\---

Need anything from the store?

 **bucky barnes:**  
Just read the Twilight wikipedia page.  
What the fuck.

Hahahahaha

 **bucky barnes:**  
How can there be 5 of these movies.

fun fact: I've watched them all  
because of mj

 **bucky barnes:**  
Is MJ really ur friend.

hahahahahaha  
so do you want eggs

 **bucky barnes:**  
Yes.  
Thanks.

\---

Another second Tuesday of the month rolls around and Peter hurries back from Biomathematics in the afternoon, picking up some fresh fruits from the mini farmer’s market on the way back to their residence hall. 

It was a rough session. Peter can tell from the way Barnes jerks upright when Peter enters the room; stares at Peter like he’s still trying to work out past from present. "Who - Stevie -"

"I’m Peter, your roommate." He doesn’t take a step closer but just stands there by the door, waiting for Barnes to come back to himself. 

Barnes mutters something in Russian and scrubs his hands over his face, pressing his palms against his eyes. 

"It’s Peter," he ventures again. "Parker. You’re Bucky Barnes. You drink all my milk and sneak your smelly socks into my laundry pile all the time." 

Barnes huffs a laugh. It’s a painful sound. 

"I snuck my underwear in there last week too," he says finally. 

"I know, you dick." 

It’s not a mindless movie sort of day so they just sit on the floor and eat the plums Peter bought, which are beautifully ripe and sweet. After a few false starts Barnes tells Peter a story about the short time in which he had been a choirboy in his local parish church, about the musty cassocks they’d all been made to wear and how one of the other, older boys used to kick him in the shins just to make him yelp or stumble. He’d stuck with it for a year and then was, thankfully, released once his voice started to break. Barnes tells this story like it’s a revelation to him, the words tumbling out of his mouth like he’s only just realising how to say them. 

Maybe this BARF thing is really working, Peter thinks. He imagines debris being shifted and dislodged from the caved-in building of Barnes’ mind, and the glimmers of memories like this becoming uncovered. Maybe HYDRA didn't wipe Barnes as clean as they all thought. As for the programming -

"I won't know if it's really gone until someone tries it again, will I?" says Barnes.

Peter thinks of Mr Stark’s Cradle Protocol, of all the other things Mr Stark has put in his suit. Of falling and realising that someone else has caught him. "I'm optimistic."

"So’s Steve, and then I tried to decapitate him with a helicopter."

"If you think murdery anecdotes are going to stop me from calling you out on your laundry banditry, think again dude."

(The other thing Peter dreams about is this: the moment after he grabs hold of Mr Stark, when he feels rather than sees his web snap off the surface of the ship strand by strand, the final jerk as the last strand breaks and the line goes slack in his fingers.

When he wakes up it takes him minutes to force himself to remember that they _hadn't_ fallen, that Barnes had caught the line again and hauled them in.)

\---

 **Spideywatch** retweeted  
**ron lewis** @ronsssss  
Spidey sighting E 102nd and Lexington: directing traffic to make way for an ambulance #spideywatch

 **Spideywatch** retweeted  
**Sarah Xu** @yexu  
OKAY so Spider-man just got my purse back from a snatch thief and gave me a lift to my job interview #amazing #blessed

 **Spideywatch** retweeted  
**Ed** @eduardo_ugh  
Looked out the window and saw Spider-man legit falling off the opposite building. Caught himself in the nick of time.

 **Spideywatch** retweeted  
**Preethi M** @preethigood  
Anyone else spotted Spider-man running across Central Park??? On foot?? What’s up with that? #areyouokay 

**Spideywatch** retweeted  
**leandra** @leandrakatchadourian  
Just saw Spider-man try to stop a bank robbery. holy fuck. Hes fighting w octopus guy now omg

\---

"So," says Mr Stark when Peter answers the video call. He’s in some kind of bunker and has his Iron Man suit on save for the helmet. He looks annoyed. "A little bird told me."

"Could we talk about this after I’ve recovered from being almost-crushed and thrown out of a window by a man with four mechanical octopus arms?" says Peter, reaching for an extra pillow even though he knows it probably won't help what feels like the worst backache he's ever had. There's a lecture he need to get to in fifteen minutes but it's taken all his strength just to make it back to his room. "Also, maybe you haven’t heard, but there’s a man with four mechanical octopus arms running around Upper Manhattan now." 

"I’m aware of that, and it disturbs me deeply and on many levels. But I'm more disturbed by the fact that you've been plummeting off buildings every couple of days."

Peter squeezes his eyes shut. "At least you know the Cradle Protocol works?"

"I've seen the footage of you and discount Cthulhu, you could’ve -"

"I could've had him if I hadn't slipped off the ceiling, I know."

"- been seriously hurt," Mr Stark finishes. Peter opens his eyes again and realises that the look on Mr Stark’s face is not annoyance but concern. 

"Have you been talking to May again?"

Mr Stark mock shudders. "Your Aunt May is not very fond of me, if you've noticed."

"Are you going to take back the suit?"

"No, why would I - look, kid, first of all, it's your suit now. Second of all, something tells me that even without your suit you’d go swinging out there in a onesie at the first sign of danger."

Peter laughs, then winces immediately at the flare of pain it causes across his rib cage. "Yeah, that sounds about right. Also, not a onesie."

"Whatever is happening, whatever’s been going on with you since we got back from that whole funhouse of terror with Thanos, we can figure it out," Mr Stark says, slowly and seriously and so unlike himself that Peter has to squint at the screen to make sure it's him. "You don't need to go at this alone. Really. Not a good idea, I learned that from painful past experience, ask Pepper or Rhodey - actually, don’t ask Pepper or Rhodey -"

 _I dream that I don't catch you_ , Peter thinks of saying, or: _I dream that I do but that nobody catches us_. But a klaxon begins blaring wherever Mr Stark is and the bunker - or is it a submarine, Peter wonders - is flooded with red light. 

Mr Stark is still talking to him over the noise. "You need to take it easy for a little while and lie low-"

"Tony, we're reaching the containment zone," says someone who sounds very much like Captain America. 

"Hang on, I'm talking to the kid," Mr Stark tells him. "Here, say hi."

Mr Stark turns the phone around and Cap comes into view. He looks exasperated, but waves at the camera nonetheless. "Hi Pete. Tell Bucky I said hello. Tony, we need to move." This is underscored by the sound of a very loud explosion; the camera pitches forward as well.

"Okay, got to go," says Mr Stark through Iron Man’s helmet before the video call abruptly ends. 

Peter lets his phone drop on top of his face and just lies there for a long moment. Then, with considerable effort, he rolls over and clambers down from his bunk. In the chair, where Peter’s clean-ish clothes usually lie in a giant ball, is a stack of folded t-shirts, recently washed. _Compliments of the laundry bandit_ , reads the accompanying note. _P.S. finished your milk_.

\---

**fyeahjbbarnes**

CITIZEN’S ARREST BY FORMER ASSASSIN  
By Betty Brant

NEW YORK - A man attempting to loot a watch shop during the chaos of the Macy’s Parade attack in midtown Manhattan was thwarted by Sergeant James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, formerly known as the Winter Soldier. 

While police officers on the scene were occupied with evacuating people from the area, the young man took the opportunity to break into a luxury watch shop and made off with approximately $150,000 worth of timepieces. Onlookers report that Sgt. Barnes had appeared shortly after and chased down the robber, who was escaping on a bicycle which he had also stolen from a passer-by. 

"[Sgt. Barnes] took him down, just like that," said eyewitness Rio Morales, 17, "he caught up with the robber and pulled him off the bike and onto the ground." Sgt. Barnes remained with the robber until the police arrived. 

The Macy’s Parade attack saw thousands of onlookers fleeing the Bryant Park area as a masked man on a hoverboard destroyed several balloons and set off poisonous green smoke grenades, injuring close to fifty people. Occasional Avenger and local vigilante Spider-man was present on the scene but failed to apprehend the "Green Goblin" attacker. 

Sgt. Barnes, who was granted a Presidential pardon last year, is the world’s oldest living and longest held prisoner-of-war after he was captured by HYDRA in 1945 and brainwashed into becoming a "human weapon", as was heard during the congressional hearing that took place early last year. The hearing saw a number of Avengers, including Captain Steve Rogers, as well as billionaire philanthropist and Iron Man Tony Stark, giving testimony as to Sgt Barnes’ contributions to national security and the protection of the world against alien invaders.

The NYPD issued a brief statement on its official twitter account yesterday expressing gratitude for Sgt. Barnes’ "courageous actions". Sgt. Barnes has declined to be interviewed.

#jbb is the hero we don't deserve #weeping #took him down JUST LIKE THAT

  **fyeahjbbarnes**  
  There's also a video:  https://youtu.be/PomIR3TKdPj

    **buckybear**  
    I seriously cannot with this precious man

      **suchafullsea**  
      Omg the moment where he pulls the guy off the bike is graceful as fuck

      **barnacle**  
      Wasn't there this other thing where he stopped a snatch thief?

        **fyeahjbbarnes**  
        Yeah, it was this post ( link). Someone also saw him help a kid find her parents after people got evacuated during that bank robbery last month (link) (link).

        **marconi**  
        I realise he’s no longer got a metal arm? When did that happen?

          **fyeahjbbarnes**  
          Yeah I heard something about him choosing a regular prosthetic one instead.

\---

Peter has _enemies_ now, not just one guy who also turned out to be his homecoming date’s dad. He's watched all the Nolan Batman movies; he knows how it goes. Now, in addition to the dreams about webs stretching and snapping in deep space his brain adds _I'll kill you and everybody you love_ ; adds the mechanical click and whirr of four metal claws; adds the poisonous stench of the Green Goblin’s pumpkin bombs. 

In between barely making it to classes and going out patrolling, he stays up for several nights working on his paper for Dr Octavius’ class. If Barnes has a problem with the glow from Peter’s laptop, he doesn't say. When Peter sleeps it is in short fitful bursts, slumped over his desk or curled up in a corner of the room with his books. He aches in places that shouldn't ache. Peter forgets to ask Barnes why he was at Bryant Park on the day of the parade.

This becomes his routine: working until he can’t concentrate on his paper any longer, and then saving his work and going feverishly to put on his suit. 

He falls more often than not, now. He gets accustomed to the sudden jerk of emergency webs being deployed, to trying to catch himself and failing, to hitting dumpsters and pavements and more cars. People on the internet start making Youtube compilation videos of Spider-man dropping onto things (MJ forwards him one that's set to the music from the Inception trailer; it's not half bad). His body remembers how to land, remembers how to heal itself from things that would seriously injure any other person.

Then his body forgets, just a little, and he ends up breaking his arm. 

"It'll heal," Peter says, when Barnes appears in the alleyway where Peter is slumped against a recycling bin, cradling his arm to his chest. 

"You're an idiot," Barnes replies, and checks Peter for any other injuries. 

He wonders for a moment how Barnes has managed to find him - in Bed-Stuy, of all places - but Barnes starts examining Peter’s arm and the pain pushes the question out of his mind. 

"We need to get this looked at, all right pal?"

"I can't go to the hospital as Spider-man," Peter grits out. 

He tries to sit up so he can maybe get on his feet again, but Barnes pushes him back gently. "I didn’t say hospital." 

As it turns out, Barnes - or was it Karen? Or did Karen call Barnes, Peter wonders - has called Sam Wilson, who shows up in an Uber ten minutes later.

"Where are your wings?" Barnes asks. 

"You do realise that I have an actual job and don’t just spend my waking hours soaring above the clouds," replies Wilson. "Also, the journey upstate will hurt a lot less in the back of a car, as opposed to hurtling through the sky strapped to a guy wearing a pair of wings."

"Upstate?" Peter repeats.

Wilson nudges Barnes aside and crouches down in front of Peter. "Yes, I’m taking you back to the Avengers Facility so a doctor can take a look at this."

"I don't-"

"Pete," says Barnes, resting one hand on Peter’s shoulder. "Do me a favour and just listen to Sam, okay?"

After Wilson has applied a splint to Peter’s arm, he and Barnes help Peter up and into the waiting car. Wilson gets in after Peter and looks over at Barnes, who is still standing on the sidewalk. "Guess you’re not coming?"

"I gotta go dock my bike," says Barnes, gesturing towards a citi bike leaning against the wall.

"You _cycled_ here?"

Barnes shrugs. "Us college kids can't afford to ride around in fancy cars, unlike Mr I Have An Actual Job."

Wilson rolls his eyes. "Suit yourself."

"Wouldn't want to get in the way." Barnes steps over to the car and peers in at Peter. "See you when you get back, Pete."

"Oh, but -" Peter begins to say, but Barnes shuts the door firmly and turns towards his bicycle.

"Get some sleep," says Wilson. "The painkillers should kick in soon."

The pain in his arm shows no sign of receding, but he doesn't want to trouble Wilson more than he already has. Peter rests his head against the window and dozes, tuning out the sound of the Uber driver asking Wilson if he ever does elementary school visits.

\---

 **May:**  
In case you're worried that I'm freaking out  
I AM  
Peter you can't keep doing this  
Do you understand?  
I want to speak with Tony Stark

 **bucky barnes:**  
Sorry pal. Had to let May know.  
Rest up.

 **Sean Chen (ESU physics):**  
hi peter, turns out dr octavius has a medical thing and they're subbing in another course coordinator  
they're replacing our papers w a multiple choice test

 **MJ:**  
Spider-man sightings supercut (Evanescence)  
https://youtu.be/VilqbP8ZWsQn  
For your viewing pleasure  
Feel better soon

 **Harry Osborn:**  
hey pete, this is your old roommate harry!  
could you give me a call?  
ive run into a little trouble

\---

Mr Stark says, "Let me show you something."

They've taken the elevator down to Mr Stark’s workshop, where Peter has to suppress the urge to charge around peering at everything and shouting _this is awesome_ because that would be undignified. And possibly bad for his arm, which is in a sling and may not withstand the amount of gesticulating and overwhelmed pointing Peter wants to do.

There is an Iron Man suit in production, and two prototypes of what might be another Spider-man suit (it's hard to tell because one is partly invisible and the other is being tugged in all directions by three robot arms). 

"Try not to touch anything," says Mr Stark, striding towards a cabinet and unlocking it with a fingerprint scan. One of the robot arms lets go of the suit it’s tugging at to chirrup at Mr Stark, causing the other two to overbalance and crash into a workbench. "I'm still not done containing the energy signatures from some of those infinity stone-derived weapons."

"Is that a new wing rig?" Peter asks, resigning himself to the fact that he's openly gawking and there is nothing he can do about it because everything here is amazing. "Is that a _photonic_ Captain America shield?"

"Yes, and yes, but I want you to see this." Mr Stark rummages in one of the cabinet drawers while Peter tears himself away from the prototype shield just lying there on a workbench. 

The case Mr Stark hands him is no bigger than a matchbox. When Peter presses the catch and pops the lid open, he finds a rectangular piece of metal within that looks heavily corroded. 

"So as it turns out, when spontaneously-exploding super-soldier experiments decided to come blow up my house - on my invitation, actually, which was somewhat misguided - most of my stuff got destroyed," says Mr Stark. "But I found this in the corner of one of my safe drawers."

"What is it?" asks Peter. 

"A used palladium core. I don’t know if you’re aware of my previous, uh, situation." He gestures towards his chest. "No? Okay, cliff notes version: bunch of shrapnel moving towards my heart, miniaturised arc reactor right here in the chest to stop the shrapnel and, happily, to also power the Iron Man suit."

"Wow." Peter has heard vague mentions of this before from Happy and Rhodey, but nobody has ever properly told him what had happened to Mr Stark.

"Then I realised I was dying anyway because of the palladium used to power the arc reactor. There was other stuff going on at the time - this was before the Avengers, by the way - but my point is." Mr Stark pauses; moves as if he’s going to tap his finger against the burnt-out palladium core but seems to think better of it, letting his hand hover over the case instead. "A lot of things in my life were very messed up, myself included, but I didn’t know - I didn’t _think_ \- that it could be helped. That I could be helped. Or that there were people who could help me."

He’s looking at Peter now, with the same hard expression he had on his face when he said, _I want you to be better_. Except Peter is more adept now at reading Mr Stark’s expressions than he was back then, and he catches that glimmer of fear in Mr Stark’s eyes as well. It’s not unlike the look that May sometimes gets when she sees stuff about Spider-man on the news.

"I fixed it by synthesizing a new element, and I thought, sure, all right, I can handle this," Mr Stark continues. "Turns out the New York incident did a number on me. But at the time, I’d already fixed myself twice and was so damn sure I could do it again. I built a bunch of suits; I destroyed them. I built Ultron and, well. See what I mean about painful past experience? And at some point I just needed to _stop_ and figure out that there are some things I can’t fix on my own."

Mr Stark pauses again, and squints at Peter. "Is this getting confusing? Pepper said I should lead with the New York thing, but then again she didn't really know all that much about the palladium slowly killing me business."

"I mean, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, just stop being Spider-man?" asks Peter. "Because I can't just stop - you know I can't."

"I think your body’s already trying to do that for you." Mr Stark waves a hand, bringing up a dozen or so projections of footage of Peter falling. "The first time you fell, it was because you momentarily lost the ability to cling to surfaces." He points towards one screen where Peter is leaping off the side of a building and barely misses the next one. "Now you're misjudging distances. Here - your reflexes are down. And now you've broken your arm, and your body isn't fixing itself up as quickly as it should."

"I'm healing up just fine."

"Kid, it's been four days. You've healed from much worse in twelve hours," says Mr Stark, picking up the case and moving to put it back into the cabinet. He’s still facing away from Peter when he says, "Honestly, I'm afraid that if you go out there again like this, you'll break something else. And it won't be just your arm."

 _I'm not an Avenger and I don't take orders from you_ , Peter wants to say. But that's unfair because Mr Stark isn't ordering Peter to do anything. He remembers the look on Mr Stark’s face when Wilson had first brought Peter into the compound; the way Barnes had said _you're an idiot_ , terse and concerned. Around him, the projected footage continues to play: Peter falls, and falls, and falls.

Mr Stark shuts the cabinet and clears his throat. "Okay, uh, good talk. I'll just - you can stay here at the compound for as long as you want. Cap’ll come by to try out the shield tomorrow evening, if you're sticking around."

Under any other circumstances Peter would jump at a chance to hang around the Avengers facility to watch Cap try out new tech Mr Stark is testing. But he's been away for too long, and he wants, all of sudden, to be somewhere where he can just be _Peter_ and not Spider-man in crisis. "Actually, Mr Stark, I think I'll head back before lunch." 

Later, when Peter is climbing into a car to take him back to his residence hall, Wilson claps him on the back. "I guess you and Bucky really look out for each other, huh."

"I'm sorry?"

Wilson grins. "You're not the only one who keeps track, kid. It’s the second Tuesday of the month."

\---

 **The Daily Bugle** @dailybugle  
Masked Menace Abandons New York!  bug.le/4aZpKu

 **New York Daily News** @NYDailyNews  
"Where Is Spider-man?": A City Concerned  nydn.us/8qXlPa

 **Spideywatch** @spideywatch  
If anyone has spotted Spider-man in the past week, please DM me. Thanks! #spideywatch

 **The Daily Bugle** @dailybugle  
Iron Man cleans up Masked Menace’s Mess!  bug.le/9uQlGo

 **New York Daily News** @NYDailyNews  
Avengers taking on NY crime: Friendly neighbourhood Falcon?  nydn.us/3tCrWu

\---

Peter lies low. 

To blow off steam, Captain America suggests that he try running.

"I’ve done enough damn running for two lifetimes," Barnes says, but digs up his shoes anyway. They take a shorter route in Central Park than the scarily ambitious one Cap Googles for them and then marks out on a map in pencil ("Overachiever," says Barnes when he looks at it), and head out early enough that few people will spot Peter running more quickly than average. 

He camps out in the library to finish the other papers he put on hold for Dr Octavius’ class. He goes for Thai with May in Queens. He and Barnes watch the rest of the Bourne films, including the one with the guy who looks weirdly like Hawkeye. 

("Maybe they're cousins," says Barnes, although he doesn’t sound convinced.

"Maybe Hawkeye was deep undercover," says Peter.

Barnes scoffs. "And got cast in a blockbuster franchise?"

"Stranger things have happened," Peter points out, and Barnes shrugs.)

It doesn’t mean he sleeps any better, though. The dreams don’t go away, and when he lies in bed he thinks he can make out the faint sounds of police sirens, of people in danger. He takes to sitting in bed looking at CCTV or satellite footage of possible octopus guy and Green Goblin activity that Karen pulls for him every night. 

"Pete," says Barnes, two weeks in. "Go to sleep."

Peter considers lying very still and maybe snoring a bit so Barnes will think he _is_ asleep, but Barnes kicks at Peter’s bunk. "I know you’re awake, I can hear you poking away at your phone. Is it your arm?" 

"My arm’s fine." 

"Is it the nightmares?"

"What nightmares?"

Barnes kicks at Peter’s bunk again. "You know what I’m talking about." 

"Maybe." 

" _Maybe_ you want to think about going to see that friend Sam recommended," says Barnes. "Talk about stuff."

"I'll think about it," Peter replies, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. 

Barnes rolls out of his bunk and steps up onto the first rung of the ladder in one smooth move. "Hey, pal." He pokes Peter’s shoulder through the covers. "We all get this shit, all right? It comes with the territory." 

Peter pokes his head out from under the covers."I don't see anyone else falling out of the sky."

"I didn't say everyone gets exactly the same shit." The mattress shifts as Barnes leans his elbows against it. "I dream, too." He stops, closes his eyes for a moment then continues, matter of factly, "That I don't catch you and Stark. Or that my arm stops working or falls off and I can't pull you in."

"Doesn't the BARF help with that?"

"BARF’s for all the HYDRA stuff. For everything else I talk to Sam’s therapist friend sometimes. It's not the worst."

Peter laughs. "You've been hanging out too much with MJ."

"I had dinner with her and your aunt while you were at the compound, you know. She made us watch Mean Girls after." 

"How was it?"

"Decent," says Barnes. "Then I made a comment to Steve the other day about his boobs having ESPN and the looks on his and Sam’s faces were _priceless_."

\---

 **BBC Breaking News** @BBCBreaking  
Victor Von Doom holds Latveria hostage: Avengers assembled  bbc.in/2EeoU9p

 **Reuters Top News** @Reuters  
Latverians evacuated from Doomstadt as Avengers arrive to disarm Doom  reut.rs/2Dv5pH3

 **CNN Breaking News** @cnnbrk  
Thor, Asgardians join Avengers in containing Doom threat  cnn.it/2CmeqWy

\---

Because everything is terrible and Peter’s life is hard, octopus guy decides to break into an Oscorp laboratory at the exact same time Mr Stark and the other Avengers are away in Latveria trying to stop Doom from destroying an entire continent. 

Also, octopus guy turns out to be Dr Octavius. Which just annoys Peter even more because he wouldn’t have stayed up several nights writing that paper if he’d known that Dr Octavius would bail on them to go be a super-villain. They’d replaced it with a _multiple choice quiz_ for goodness’ sake.

"We meet again, Spider-man," says Dr Octavius, flinging an electron microscope at Peter with one tentacle arm.

Peter dodges the microscope, hopping up onto the ceiling and sending a series of web grenades at Dr Octavius’s tentacles. "Hey, doc, what’s a professor like you doing robbing a laboratory like this?" He leaps away as Dr Octavius takes a swipe at him. "Don’t you have classes to teach? Research to do? Papers -" he dodges a flying centrifuge machine- "to grade?" 

"You mock me, but I won’t let you get in our way," says Dr Octavius, tugging two of his tentacles free from Peter’s webbing.

Peter dodges one but gets slammed right in the chest by the other; it sends him skidding across the floor and crashing into one of the laboratory doors. He leaps to his feet and fires a quick succession of taser webs in Dr Octavius’ direction. "‘Our way’? Is that like a royal we or something?"

While Dr Octavius’ tentacles are immobilised by the taser webs, Peter takes the opportunity to leap overhead and cover him in webbing. 

"Ha," says Dr Octavius, "you think you’re so clever." 

Out of the corner of his eye, Peter catches sight of a metal pumpkin bomb rolling across the floor towards him. 

"Peter, take cover-" Karen is saying, but the bomb goes off and Peter is choking on the fumes and falling; he’s falling through space and his hands grasp at nothing and the ship is so far away and he is so cold - _identifying toxin_ , he hears Karen say - 

The Green Goblin’s hoverboard slams into Peter, pinning him against the wall by his neck. 

"Now let's see who’s under that mask," says the Green Goblin, stepping into view. 

Peter’s still choking on gas and deep space; he can’t breathe in a vacuum, he sees stars and the Goblin’s eyes and Thanos flinging Iron Man aside like a rag doll. The Goblin’s fingers are cold against Peter’s neck as he reaches to tug up Peter’s mask.

A knife, expertly flung, spins towards the Goblin and embeds itself in the Goblin’s armour, right at the weak spot between his shoulder and arm. The Goblin snarls and whirls around. Through the fog of the Goblin’s poison, Peter thinks he sees Barnes charging towards the Goblin, throwing him to the ground and pinning him down. 

"Nice try," says the Goblin. He flings out another pumpkin bomb, which goes off in a cloud of smoke. Barnes staggers backwards, releasing his grip on the Goblin and swaying slightly on his feet. But before the Goblin can get up Barnes is slamming onto him again, wrenching the Goblin’s arms behind his back this time. 

The Goblin roars in disbelief. "Nobody can withstand my hallucigen gas!"

"Sorry pal," says Barnes, pulling the Goblin’s helmet off and knocking him unconscious. "Super soldier metabolism." 

In the meantime, Dr Octavius has somehow cut himself free of Peter’s webbing. "Watch out!" Peter chokes out, but Dr Octavius has already grabbed Barnes with one tentacle and thrown him across the lab. Before Barnes can scramble to his feet, Dr Octavius catches him again with the tentacle and holds him mid-air, tightening the grip of his claw around Barnes’ torso.

Peter can’t breathe, can’t move, but he _has to_ , he needs to help Barnes. His hands scrabble against the base of the hoverboard as he tries to find something to grip. He finally settles for placing his fingers against the smooth surface and hoping that his enhanced grip will hold as he pushes outward desperately.

His fingers don't slip. With a cry of relief, Peter dislodges the hoverboard from the wall just enough that he can get free. And now he’s swinging across the lab, launching himself at Dr Octavius and dodging the remaining three tentacles faster than he can see them. He lands a direct kick to Dr Octavius’ chest, then knocks him out with the taser webs. 

The claw holding Barnes loosens, and Barnes drops to the ground. 

"This sort of crazy shit," says Barnes, when he’s caught his breath, "is when you’d generally call for backup."

"You think I didn’t?" Peter replies as he webs up Dr Octavius and the Goblin for good measure. "Everyone’s in Latveria trying to stop Doom."

"Well, you didn’t call me," Barnes snaps. 

"You’re not supposed to be doing this sort of thing! Cap said-"

"I know what Cap said," says Barnes. There had been several angry phone conversations, after Barnes had caught that robber during the Green Goblin attack, about being reckless and about enhanced persons licenses not just being handed out like candy. "But someone’s gotta stop you from breaking your neck or getting killed by lunatics on hoverboards. Someone needs to look out for you."

"And that's you?"

Barnes gives Peter a wry look. "What do you think I've been doing all this time, pal?"

And really, Peter should have figured out much earlier why Barnes had been at Bryant Park during the Green Goblin’s attack. Or in that alley in Bed-Stuy. Or why he's here, for that matter.

"Dude, have you been _following me_?"

Barnes shrugs. "For someone who claims to have spider senses, you're not very observant."

"How long?" Peter asks, then realises he's flapping his arms in bewilderment. "Just - how?"

"Since you got into the habit of falling off stuff." Barnes wanders over to peer down at the Green Goblin. "I’ve ridden a _lot_ of citi bikes in the past couple of months."

"Holy shit." 

"By the way, do you mind calling the cops for this one?" says Barnes, retrieving his knife. "Turns out there’s a ton of paperwork when you make a citizen’s arrest." 

\---

 **fyeahjbbarnes** reblogged **citibikeblog**

**Member Profile: James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes**

[Photo]

People may know Bucky Barnes for his legendary friendship with Captain America and for his heroic deeds during WWII and the more recent alien invasion. New Yorkers know him better as a local hero who has helped run down snatch thieves and stop robberies, more often than not while riding a Citi Bike. Read more about why he is an avid Citi Biker and his favourite places to ride below.

 **Tell us a little bit about yourself!**  
I grew up in Brooklyn. I'm now taking a couple of classes at ESU so I live near college (near Greenwich Village) with my roommate.

**When did you start using Citi Bike? Why did you join?**

I joined a year ago. When I first moved back to New York there was a lot of adjusting to do. I found that riding was a good way of getting around and also clearing my head. 

**How have you incorporated using Citi Bike into your lifestyle?**

I cycle every day, to and from classes, as well as to get groceries and run other errands. 

**Winter is coming. Are you going to keep riding?**

I tolerate the cold reasonably well.

**Where are some of your favourite places to ride?**

The Brooklyn Waterfront Greenway is nice because there’s a lot of traffic-free biking. I also like the ride from Prospect Park to Rockaway Beach but I’m not often in Brooklyn. 

#jbb doing his bit for the environment 

  **buckybear**  
  can we talk about how cute he looks in that photo with his helmet and fluffy scarf 

    **marconi**  
    The thing about him chasing down snatch thieves is 100% true

      **suchafullsea**  
      a friend of mine works at a coffee shop in the area and sees him docking his bike to get groceries all the time. the man loves his fresh fruit

\---

"I think it's important to recognise that nobody got hurt, and I had full control of my powers at all times," says Peter.

"Except the bit with the hallucinogenic gas," says Barnes helpfully.

"Yes," says Peter, "but that was caused by external factors."

They are in the conference room at the Avengers compound, where the Latveria debrief has just concluded. Cap still has debris stuck in his hair, and there is a faint smell of explosives wafting off Mr Stark’s flight undersuit.

"I think it's important to recognise that what you did was extremely _reckless_ ," says Cap.

Barnes rolls his eyes. "This is coming from the guy who jumps out of planes with no parachute."

"Now, now," Mr Stark says, then pauses, aghast. "Has it come to this? Am I now the guy who says _now, now_ to other people?"

Cap glares at Mr Stark. "You’re not helping."

"Look, Steve, you told me to look out for Pete," says Barnes.

"I didn't say chase him across New York on a bicycle with no backup!"

Barnes throws up his hands. " _I_ was the backup!"

"As someone who has fought you hand-to-hand on several occasions, I am very confident in your abilities as backup," says Mr Stark.

"Thank you?"

"No, thank _you_ ," Mr Stark tells Barnes. He turns to Peter. "Kid-"

"I know I could've died, but I'm fine-"

"You did good."

Peter boggles a bit. "What?"

"You did good," says Mr Stark. "It doesn't mean I wasn't extremely concerned that you went to the lab in the first place, or that you could've gotten yourself killed - and, by the way, I'm in full agreement with Sergeant Barnes here about you seeing someone about your falling off things situation-"

Peter turns to Barnes and hisses, "You talked to Mr Stark about this?"

"But you did what you had to given the circumstances," Mr Stark finishes.

"This wasn’t what we discussed on the flight back," Cap mutters. 

"Positive affirmation, Cap. It’s a thing I’ve been trying." Mr Stark claps a hand on Peter’s shoulder. "I'm proud of you, kid."

"Are we done here?" asks Barnes. "I’m a hundred and three years old and have three more seasons of Person of Interest waiting for me on an external hard drive." 

\---

Need anything from the store?

 **bucky barnes:**  
How is MJ able to recommend something as excellent as person of interest  
and something as bizarre as high school musical  
in the same breath??

hahahahaha  
high school musical’s not that bad  
I’ll get more eggs

 **bucky barnes:**  
Thanks.  
How was your visit to Sam’s therapist friend?

not the worst

\---

He dreams, still. About choking on the Green Goblin’s pumpkin bomb, and Barnes caught in Dr Octavius’ claw. Sometimes, he dreams about catching Mr Stark in space.

It's part of the territory, Barnes had said. Now Peter learns how to go through those moments in his head to teach his brain to remember how things really happened. Maybe it helps, because Peter dreams, but he doesn't fall.

Ned comes to visit during spring break, and they spend a couple of days catching Barnes up on all the Star Wars. 

"Someone told me about this scene, once," Barnes says after Luke falls off the air shaft to escape Darth Vader during the end of Empire Strikes Back. "A HYDRA scientist. Right before they scrambled my brain."

"Dude," Ned whispers. "You got spoiled for a movie you could only watch forty years later. That’s _cold_."

Barnes shrugs. "Guess they thought I wouldn't remember."

Ned has that horrified awkward look on his face that Peter used to get whenever Barnes mentioned being tortured by HYDRA. 

"It's okay, pal, I'm fine now." When Ned continues to look shocked Barnes punches him lightly in the shoulder, says, "You know what else is cold? Cryo-sleep," and grins like he's waiting for a comedy drum-roll.

Peter groans, and cues up Return of the Jedi.

\---

**(an epilogue)**

Through methods unknown, Mr Stark manages to wrangle himself an invitation to give the commencement speech at Peter’s graduation. It’s also Barnes’ graduation, but not unexpectedly, they both have to miss the whole thing because of a Spider-man related crisis. 

Specifically, remnant members of the Sinister Six decide to kidnap the Winter Soldier in order to lure Spider-man out. 

"I don’t understand," says Peter, after he arrives on the scene to find Barnes engaged in hand to hand combat with Kraven, having already broken free of his restraints and doused Sandman with water. "Kidnapping you is just unfathomable levels of stupid." 

"Will you shut up and give me a hand?" Barnes snaps, dodging an uppercut from Kraven and landing a series of blows to his face. 

"You seem like you have this under control." Peter glances over at Mysterio, who is cowering in a corner with one of his creepy special effects devices. "There you are," Peter says, and webs Mysterio’s hands to the wall. 

"You’ve walked straight into our trap, Spider-man!" Mysterio screeches. 

"Let me guess," says Peter, "is the trap meant to be Electro hiding in the air ducts waiting to zap the both of us?" 

Mysterio’s mouth falls open. "Wait, how did you-" 

"Yeah, so I kind of took him out earlier," Peter tells him. "Sorry to disappoint."

"Will you stop talking and _help me_?" chokes Barnes, while struggling to get out of Kraven’s headlock. 

Before Peter can do anything, however, a repulsor blast knocks Kraven flat, pinning Barnes under him. Peter turns round to see an Iron Man suit and a very disgruntled Sam Wilson hovering at the window. 

"I," says Wilson, coming in through the window to help Barnes climb out from under Kraven, "am very tired of saving your asses. I don’t just have one job now, I have _two_ -" 

"Yes, you’re also Captain America, we know," Barnes says wearily, double checking to see that Kraven is well and truly incapacitated. 

"I'll web him up," says Peter.

Barnes is now peering at the Iron Man suit. "Are you seriously piloting the suit while giving a commencement speech?" 

The faceplate snaps up. "No I am not," says Mr Stark, looking affronted. "I simply postponed the commencement."

"What the hell," says Barnes, the same time Wilson shouts, "You can’t _postpone_ an entire commencement!" Peter simply gapes at Mr Stark. 

"Only by about an hour or so," says Mr Stark. "If we hurry. I ordered pizza for everyone and their parents in the meantime."

Wilson buries his face in his hands. "Don't tell me not to tell Steve about this."

Barnes pulls an angrily vibrating Starkphone out of his pocket. "I think Steve is very aware of this."

\---

**fyeahjbbarnes**

[Photo]

jbb cleans up well in that gown and cap!!!!

#end of an era #go tigers 

  **mockingbird**  
  omg congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! 

    **buckybear**  
    weeping he looks so happy with his roommate there

      **marconi**  
      also BOTH Captain Americas were there, and Tony Stark gave the commencement speech in his Iron Man suit. Epic. 

      **suchafullsea**  
      his roommate is a precious cinnamon roll

        **barnacle**  
        yasss omg did you see the pics of them going cycling together??? too good for this world, too pure

          **fyeahjbbarnes**  
          yeah ikr! pity we don’t even know his name :’)

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, I kind of wrote some fic? Huge thanks to forochel and Claire for your encouragement and lovely comments! The description "odd couple buddy tragicomedy" is by forochel and 100% encapsulates what I was going for. Title from [Spirits](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9kXstb9FF4) by The Strumbellas.


End file.
